


WinterIron 67 - Eggnog

by tisfan



Series: Stocking Stuffers [7]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alcohol, Baking, Dick Jokes, Food, Jello, M/M, Tony Being Tony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-07
Updated: 2017-12-07
Packaged: 2019-02-11 18:48:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12941460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tisfan/pseuds/tisfan
Summary: Bucky's been in the kitchen...Tony... is not comfortable with this.





	WinterIron 67 - Eggnog

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KiraStain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KiraStain/gifts).
  * Translation into Русский available: [Эггног](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13714371) by [wtfironwinter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wtfironwinter/pseuds/wtfironwinter)



Tony stormed out of the kitchen into the living room. “What… what is this abominable little… thing?”

“I didn’t make it,” Clint immediately protested, looking at the wiggly little white thing gripped between Tony’s thumb and forefinger like he was worried that it might explode. Or bite him. “That’s all Bucky’s responsibility.”

Bucky didn’t even look up from the string of cranberries and popcorn he was diligently threading onto a string. “What’s wrong with it?”

“What even  _ is  _ it?” Tony demanded. “It looks like the bastard child of mayonnaise and jelly.”

“You mean it looks like jizz in a mold,” Clint said.

“Oh, ugggg,  _ Barton _ ! Gross!” Tony let go of the molded patty, which hit the floor with loud splat. And did not detract from Tony’s impression that the… goop was solidified come. 

“Oh, my god, you two,” Bucky sighed. “It’s eggnog, okay? Relax.”

“I know what eggnog looks like, Freezerburn, and that’s not it.”

“It isn’t any different from those jagermeister blueberry jello shots you put out at halloween,” Bucky said. “Except that those were gross, and these are tasty.”

“Excuse you, but those were fantastic. I love blueberries. And these look like Frosty the Snowman splooged all over the kitchen.”

Bucky sighed, got up and got a paper towel. He cleaned the splattered jello off the floor. “Just try it.”

“I cannot, legit,  _ cannot _ , put that thing in my mouth,” Tony said. He crossed his arms over his chest, taking a step away while Bucky tossed the towel into the trash. “It’s like… semi-solid dickspit with a bad case of the shivers.”

Bucky fetched another mold from the kitchen; he’d made little individual servings, tiny little tarts, with a blob of cranberry sherry compote on top. “Close your eyes and let me slip creamy goodness between your lips,” Bucky said, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. 

“Now I  _ really  _ can’t do it,” Tony whined plaintively. 

“Sure you can,” Bucky said, his voice low and husky. “Trust me.”

Tony whined, that was completely unfair. Now he had to, and he totally did not waaaaant. “If it’s gross, I’m gonna spit it out.”

“Always knew you were a spitter, not a swallower,” Clint said.

“Shut up, Clint,” Bucky said. “Go on, eyes closed. It’s fine.”

Tony sighed, let his eyes slide shut. 

“Just think, you didn’t know you liked ice cream until someone made you try it,” Bucky said. 

Tony waited until the cool, firm stuff -- and oh, god, he was not going to be able to do this because it was like taking head from someone he  _ didn’t like _ \-- touched his lips and then, “N--mmph!”

Bucky shoved the whole thing into Tony’s mouth.

Tony’s eyes sprang open and he glared at Bucky, trying really hard not to bite the mouthful of… nutmeg… and rum? 

It… smelled good?

Tony heaved a great sigh, prodded at the thing in his mouth with his tongue. The cranberry goop on top was… not bad? He chewed, sullenly.

“Oh.” Tony said around his mouthful. “Oh. Oh, that’s…”

“It’s good, I told you,” Bucky said. He reached out and wiped a bit of spare jello off Tony’s lower lip and then licked his thumb. “Not everything from the 40’s is terrible.”

Tony swallowed and the bourbon in the shot lit a gentle, sugar-coated blowtorch in the back of his throat. “Not bad,” he admitted. “Feel free to stick whatever you want in my mouth.”

In the other room, there was a loud thump as Clint fell off the sofa, laughing.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a [real recipe](https://www.tablespoon.com/recipes/eggnog-jello-shots/7f5c3f98-4dac-49c3-bc20-7109c19f0749) from the 1940’s


End file.
